The Opposite of Homeless

What is the opposite of "homeless"? "Homeful"?

If that's the case, I sadly found myself "homeful" about a month ago. Sean and I returned from our vacation at Big White (which was amazing, by the way - thanks for asking) on a Saturday around midnight. We had a lazy day at the house on Sunday and then I was set to work at home the next week. That was the week that my lost my senses and became "homeful" - I didn't leave the house at all from Sunday to Friday! My senses slowly returned over the course of the week.

Smell - I realized on Wednesday of my work from home week that I hadn't showered since Sunday
Taste - I realized on Thursday that I had been wearing the same PJamz pants and t-shirt round the clock since Monday
Hearing - I didn't hear Sean's hints that maybe I need to sit on a special pillow so I wouldn't get bedsores or ulcers on my pressure points
Touch - You know you're out of touch with reality when you realize it's Friday and you haven't left the house since Saturday!!!

Sight - On Friday I saw the light...the natural light, that is

...and this is what I looked like that week before I came to my senses...BRAINS!!!

I have since made sure that I get out of the house during my work-from-home weeks. I don't want to end up being like the Edies from Grey Gardens.

If I did turn into one of the Edies, I wonder who would play me...Jessica Lange or Drew Barrymore?

Actually, Pete Doherty would be my preference.

In an abrupt turn of topic, I'd like to take a moment to talk about Michael McDonald. Now, I'm not talking about the Michael McDonald of MadTV fame (or shame, depending on how you feel about MadTV). I'm talking about the dove-voiced, floppy-haired, blue-eyed, soulful singer of Doobie Brothers and solo fame. I'm always amazed when I meet someone who doesn't know who Michael McDonald is, because he has somehow stood the test of time when it comes to parody. I don't know exactly what it is about Michael McDonald's voice, but it has some unique and comedic quality that I can't quite put my finger on, but attention to that comedic quality has been drawn upon on over many years to make funny moments funnier since before the days when I was too mesmerized by the dead eyed children from the Circle Square ranch to notice.

Here's a live performance of "What a Fool Believes", one of the most well known of MM's songs to set the baseline for those of you who don't know what MM's voice sounds like. If you're not familiar with this song, I have to ask, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Now here are some examples of the parodies of MM through the ages

SCTV



Conan O'Brien (this is my all-time favourite)



Sound clip from "40 Year Old Virgin"

Jimmy Fallon Show (you'll have to suffer through some John Mayer impressions before the MM gold begins)

30 Rock



Needless to day, he's everywhere and if you ask him to pick you up from the bar because you're too drunk to drive home, you know that he'll say "Yah mo B there".

PS - while I was looking for the opposite of "homeless", I decided to do a google images search on the word "opulent". I thought these image hits were amusing.

Team Opulent? I would have suggested "Team Homely"



Now, seriously. How many legs does a chair need? I'm having trouble deciding whether I think this chair is greedy because it has too many legs or if I feel bad for the legs because they don't have enough seats to go around.