So You Think You Can Produce Vitamin D, Canada?

Did the sun come up this morning where you live?  Really?  Because I swear the sun hasn't come up in Thunder Bay for two days, and when it was up, it was only up for, like, 20 minutes.

 

What's next?  Locust?  Rivers turning into blood?  The dead rising from their graves? 

Never before have I longed so much for Eastern Daylight Time to get the hell outta town.  I knew those long summer evenings in Thunder Bay when the sun didn't set until 11pm wouldn't go unpunished.  Newton's 3rd Law - for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  What Newton failed to mention is that sometimes that equal and opposite reaction totally sucks.

Sadface emoticon.

One Is The Loneliest Number

Sean left for a four week placement Kapuskasing today.

Kapuskasing - their welcome sign reads "Somewhere on the long road between Winnipeg and Orillia".  Ok, it doesn't say that, but it does say "Kapuskasing - where the past meets the present".  I'm not sure why.  The history section of their website doesn't tell you why it's where the past meets the present, but it does tell you that Kapuskasing started as an internment camp for "enemy aliens".  Maybe they were time travelling aliens?  Past meets present because aliens time traveled to be put in jail?

Some of you may recognize the image above from David Lynch's adaptation of the Frank Herbert novel "Dune".  The scrotum-like being in the tube is a Navigator, who makes sure that things go as planned.  They traveled through time to make sure people was gettin' their spice!  Sadly - I can't go forward in time like a Navigator to four weeks from now when Sean gets back.

Until he returns, I'll be watching the following video on repeat.

Two Men Walk Into a Men's Clothier...

Today Sean went to Moore's to buy some nice clothes.  Here's Sean in his nice clothes.

Today he wasn't wearing nice clothes.  He was wearing faded jeans, a black hoodie, a plaid button-up shirt and a Ghostbusters T-shirt.  He looked kind of like this.

While Sean was waiting at Moore's for the Sales Associate to return from the back room, a guy walked in and asked Sean, "Do you work here?"

I have a feeling that guy looked like this.

WTFlurries

All the residents of Thunder Bay woke up to this today

Not cool, M.Nature.  Not cool.

People think she looks like this...

But this is how I'm envisioning her today...

Maggie's Dreamworld

Last night I dreamed that I visited my parents house and when I got there, there was a giant two-headed alligator in the house.

I assumed at that point that the alligator had eaten the cats and that it was going to try to eat me, so I ran upstairs into my parents' bedroom, climbed out the window onto our sunporch roof and called animal control.  They said they'd be a while.  When asked how long they'd be, they said, "A while!" in a really impatient, snippy tone.  Also, the phone I called on was a really old cordless.

When animal control finally arrived, I went back into the house and they were finger-printing my mom, because they had suspicions that she was the one who ate the cats.

And, no, she didn't look like this.  That would have made way too much sense.

Oh, Heart - why can't I dream like you?

Frost vs. Nixon

The first frost occurred today in T-Bay.  Sadface emoticon.

Yes I Have a Snuggie and No, You Can't Borrow It

I put some pretty ridonkulous things on our wedding registry including the Shamwow, Roomba and the crowning glory of wedding decadance - the Snuggie.  What is a Snuggie?  Well, you may know it by it's alternate name - The Slanket.  Still confused?  This video will explain the wonders of the Snuggie to you.




Some lucky bastard is gettin' rich because he accidentally put his bathrobe on backward when he was high on PCP and in that drug addled moment he thought, "I'm onto something here with this backward bathrobe thing" and then he thought, "that duck with the dinosaur head and top hat sure can dispense sound advice".

It was actually my friend Dave you pointed out that the Snuggie is just a bathrobe or housecoat worn backward.  Now the Snuggie just seems idiotic, as illustrated in this video:



Alas - I still love my Snuggie.  Whether I'm using it as a barrier to keep Robo's ass juice off of me or if I need a coat of some sort to wear around the house or after a bath, I know my Snuggie is there for me.

Now if only there was another completely obvious household item that I could employ for using my laptop outdoors!  Oh wait, that exists.

I'm going to start calling my ratty old used toothbrushes "The Master Crevice Scourer" and market them as a tiny brush for small spaces.  $39.95 for 2, but if you order now, you'll get three!  Any venture caps out there with some money to burn?  I'm ready for the Dragon's Den.