An Apology

To all those folks out there who couldn't give a crap about our upcoming nuptials, I apologize because all my dials are set on "WEDDING".

I've become one of those women. You know those women. The ones that when you ask them how they're doing, they tell you how their wedding plans are coming along instead of commenting on their state of being or just saying "I'm well, how are you?" like any other normal, disaffected person. This is my current response to the innocent "how's it going" question. "Well, the caterer is booked but we haven't tasted the food yet, I love my dress - it's almost done, I'm having a panic attack about the fact that I can't find someone to do my hair and Sean's been a huge help because school's out and he has lots of time to wrap up loose ends and make arrangements. [Breath] We're hoping there are enough outlets at the venue to accommodate all the stuff that needs power - DJ setup, PA, Toilets - I know...toilets need power! We're getting our flowers at the Guelph market the morning of and I'm concerned about getting tan lines, although I don't have enough good sense to wear sunscreen. How are you?"

I add that last part in to make it seem like I'm actually interested in how people are, but we all know it's a thin facade.

I swore I wouldn't be one of those women. The ones who become consumed with the next major event in their life (usually wedding or childbirth - occasionally, remodeling of some part of their household can get the same level of immersion). I always thought it would be work or my disdain for Nickelback that would consume me.

So - here I am. Gushing about how awesome my dress is, stressing over the perfect wedding hair-do and makeup, and wondering whether or not the reception will be the best time ever.

I ask for your mercy and understanding in this time of personal crisis.

Destructively Yours,
Bridezilla